four ways to improve decision making

decision making is a highly important life skill that almost all of us could use a little improvement. your day to day life is filled with several important family and work-related decisions as well as thousands of micro-decisions that often go undetected. while we sometimes believe that a vast majority of our choices are inconsequential, the truth is that even the smallest decision can have enormous consequence. therefore, possessing the emotional intelligence and self-awareness skills to navigate your more conscious decisions can be extremely handy! 

why are certain choices so hard to make?

sometimes it’s about avoiding outcome. we have a tendency to delegate out some of the bigger decisions in life because the possible outcome makes us uncomfortable. and no, i’m not just talking about failure here. fear of failure is often just as common as fear of success. when we offload the responsibility to someone else, we can opt out of the emotion that comes with the result. (in theory - but this doesn’t always happen in practice because emotions are sneaky little f*ckers that you can’t selectively opt into or out of). but here’s the thing, decisions are not always black and white, and there sometimes isn’t a right or a wrong choice. while you can make decisions that may lead to better outcomes than others, they may not always be the right decision. for example, i might choose to take on a new client which could improve my bottom-line but if i’m tapped out, exhausted and feeling burnt out, this certainly isn’t the right choice. so you see? not so simple. so, let’s set aside our desire for right-ness, and work towards empowering you to make more informed decisions and one’s that are filled with intention and purpose. here are a few tips.  

seek more information.

In order to make informed and intentional choices, sometimes more information can be useful. this can come in the form of opinions or feedback from others, or factual information that provides data. listen, there is no need to shy away from asking others for advice when it comes to making decisions but sometimes you may want to start with a more neutral source. what many have found useful is to first seek advice from professionals in a given field, which can be easy to find through several clicks of a mouse. if you are considering whether or not to take a job with a large company, do some research to see what past and current employees of that company have to say about workplace culture, benefits, etc. this is an excellent way to gain insight that you might not have gotten from an interview or in-person conversation. after that, try taking the decision to a trusted friend or family member.

many of the bigger decisions that you might be making on a week to week basis have likely been made by others in the past. the issues and problems that you are navigating in your life are certainly not unique to you, we all struggle - common humanity here people - and there is a strong possibility that there is someone close to you who has been in a similar position. seeking help from others to improve your decision-making skills is not a sign of weakness or reliance, but instead, think of it as a way to help both parties positively navigate life together and grow closer to each other. asking a close friend for advice on a job opportunity will likely yield constructive feedback, but will also show that friend that you see them as a trusted resource for difficult decisions, which could strengthen your relationship. bonus!

narrow your options

one of the most stressful parts of the decision-making process can be the sheer number of options that you feel presented with. decision fatigue is a real thing and we can get paralyzed by an endless number of choices. whether you are shopping for cars or determining how to discipline your child for misbehaving, you may be faced with more than a handful of different options. getting over this hurdle is a pivotal point in making a good decision. your brain may feel scattered due to the long list of different options and outcomes when in reality, you could easily narrow those options down to give you much more clarity moving forward. 

let’s use the car-shopping example, because it is less abstract and easy to follow. hopping on a site such as auto trader can give you an instant headache due to the thousands of vehicles for sale in your area. all you want is a reliable used car, without the hours of time spent driving to different dealerships and walking through isles of different cars, trucks, and SUVs. one of the first things you should do to ease the decision-making process is to narrow down what you are looking for. set a firm price range, mileage range, and even type of car. if you know from the start of your search that you are looking for a car with a hatchback that has less 75,000 miles and is in the $13,000-$15,000 range, your car search will go much smoother. although this may be more difficult to practice, it can remove a lot of the stress from some of the larger, more emotional decisions. 

set time limits. yes. time limits.

the goal of growing stronger as a decision-maker is certainly not to add more stress to your life. in fact, it is the exact opposite. that being said, experimenting with different ways to make better decisions may put you out of your comfort zone the first few times. one example of this would be becoming stricter about putting time limits on your decision-making process. 

if you give yourself unlimited time to make a decision, you will either find yourself continually sweeping it under the rug, or you will spend so much time mulling over every possible outcome. when this happens, your thoughts may become clouded and you will be no closer to moving forward than you were from the very beginning. procrastination is highly correlated with perfectionism, and when you are determined to make a perfect choice, you can delay, delay, delay until the cows come home. when you set some boundaries around the time you are giving yourself to make a choice you also give yourself permission to make an imperfect choice - which is one of the best things you can do for yourself. 

let’s say you are deciding whether or not to confront a co-worker about something they did that you and several other office members took offense to. a hesitant and uncertain decision-maker could watch hours turn into days turn into weeks. and once you’re finally ready to dive in, the moment has passed, the matter irrelevant and expired. if you set a more strict timeline on how you are going to approach the situation, you are much more likely to make a better decision, even if that means not approaching said coworker. 

dedicate a certain amount of time to think about the pros, cons, and possible outcomes, and then set a hard timeline on when your decision should be made, such as by lunchtime tomorrow. this may seem stressful at first but will make you a stronger decision maker moving forward.

forget your reputation.

unfortunately, many of us let our own ego get in the way of making the best decisions. you might be overly concerned with how you think a certain decision will make you look to those around you, which can steer you away from trusting your gut instinct. this is more of a self-awareness issue than it is a decision making weakness. 

some of you may find that one of these underlying decision making drivers is your fear of how others will perceive you. when this becomes a driver of your choice or choice-not, you suffer. you may not be aware of the suffering that is being created in the moment but your alignment to perception rather than your own values will eat at you. remember, the choices you make for you are for you - not others. you will never be able to please everyone, and trying to do so by choosing one path over another can lead you down a super dangerous route of people-pleasing. 

one of the best ways to summarize all self-exploration and decision-making advice is to fall back on your own experience. as we make decisions throughout our lives, we subconsciously build an internal outline of which decisions have yielded more positive feedback and results and which have not. particularly when it comes to making decisions that have many different options, such as where you should take a family vacation, leaning on past experience can be super useful. taking inventory might look like this: how did you receive input from family members on where you should go? did they feel like their voice was heard? did everyone’s input hold equal weight in choosing the final destination? did holding a family vote prove to be an effective method to keep everybody happy?

using a tool to help gain self-understanding.

when I created LIGHFBOX, i drew from my many years of experience on the front lines working with humans in their most raw form to craft an activity that could be performed on someone’s own time to help build emotional intelligence, increase self-awareness, and improve decision-making skills. at its core, LIGHFBOX is a vehicle to help you find the greatness that you hold within and live that out on a daily basis. informed choices are a part of living your life with greater intention.

building a more refined skill set around decision making takes practice, time, and willingness. use these tips to help you step into each choice with a greater sense of confidence and agency. you’ve got this 😊