how to recover from a setback

what a year. 2020 has served us an enormous amount of lessons and frankly, it’s up to us to pay attention and be open to what’s available. from where i sit (on my cozy floor in my bedroom), one of the most important lessons that we need to get curious about is that setbacks will happen. sometimes when we least expect it. sometimes when we most expect it. but either way, their coming. so, how you recover from a setback is critical to explore, and the creating solutions for yourself on how to respond, even more critical.

there are different kinds of setbacks that we experience - emotional setbacks (i was on cloud nine moving into the year and now i’m struggling with depression.), physical setbacks (my training was on point but then my gym shut down and i fell off the wagon.), relationship setbacks (my spouse and I were doing so well in our communication and now we can’t seem to get on the same page), financial setbacks (i had a nice cushion in savings and now I’m living paycheck to paycheck), and career setbacks (each month i was seeing profit and now I’ve had to close the doors on my business). we will also have our own unique response to any given setback at any given time. for example, we may be able to bounce back quickly from a physical setback but drag our feet when it comes to an emotional setback. understanding how you respond to setbacks is essential so that you can identify where you need to improve. 

the following is a thought exercise to help facilitate your own exploration:

first, think about the different types of setbacks above and identify one setback that you experienced in each category and how you responded (feel free to go back into the past as much as you need in order to find a response):

emotional setback:

physical setback:

relationship setback:

financial setback:

career setback:

next, identify which area you had the most difficult time coming back from.

now, thinking and getting curious about how you might respond more productively to your hardest setback is key in making improvements. think about how you responded and then identify three things that you wish you had done differently in working to bounce back. for example, would sharing your setback allowed you to ask for help? or perhaps, focusing more on what went well instead of what failed?

lastly, knowing how you want to do something differently in the future is different from actually executing. often, making a commitment to a new way of behaving and responding can serve a better next time. Write down a commitment statement by filling in the blank:

when I experience a (fill in the blank) setback, I will not (fill in the blank). Instead, I will (fill in the blank)...